The power of coaching with kindness

With growing uncertainty around the finite nature of skillsets, job roles and in some cases, entire professions, employees are feeling the pain.

Gallup research found that 1 in 5 employees feel miserable at work, while more than 60% are emotionally detached and disengaged. There is an epidemic of unhappiness in the professional world right now, and people are increasingly looking for one thing – compassion.

Compassion and kindness can go a long way, especially in an environment that is so riddled with change that employees are looking to their leadership for some semblance of security and reassurance. Unfortunately, compassionate leaders – capable of showing empathy, involving those around them, and demonstrating strong communication skills – are rare; with just 15.7% of individuals in a recent study meeting the definition of a High Compassion leader.

That said, leaders who struggle with compassion right now can change the trajectory of their development with the help of coaching.

The importance of being kind

Since the pandemic, people’s priorities have shifted. They’re no longer focused solely on career progression and development, and instead are seeking support with things like stress, imposter syndrome and burnout.

This doesn’t mean they’re expecting their leaders to address these challenges for them – they’re aware you can’t simply remove all stress from working life. Instead, what they’re looking for is human connection; where their leaders demonstrate an understanding of the difficulties they face and can offer advice and guidance during uncertain times.

By working with a coach to become more compassionate, leaders will be better equipped to connect with their teams on a human level. They’ll be able to build stronger working relationships and utilise enhanced insight into their people, to help them navigate problems with greater confidence and resilience.

However, some people may question whether kindness is always the answer.

Can you be too kind?

While employees are actively seeking compassion at work, leaders are expected to deliver results, and so despite their best efforts to meet the needs of their people, compassion and performance may not always go hand-in-hand.

That isn’t to say leaders should ever be unkind, but it’s about balancing kindness with assertiveness, and knowing which lever to pull in order to ensure deadlines and targets are still met.

For example, if overused, kindness can very easily shift from providing care and psychological safety, to becoming an enabler of low performance; employees can become overly reliant on their managers to rescue and/or excuse them when faced with a challenge. This is why leaders have to know when to lead with heart (showing compassion and care), or with backbone (providing clarity and direction, often through difficult conversations) – and sometimes through a combination of the two.

But what does this look like in practice?

Delivering kindness, the right way

1. Step back and reflect on their own behaviours and habits – helping leaders understand how they influence the way their team behaves. If a leader is quick to step in and take over every time their team members encounter a problem, they’re inadvertently preventing their people from realising their potential. Sometimes, the kindest thing to do is step back and give employees the space to fail and learn from these experiences, offering support only when needed.
   
   
2. Utilise active listening – to support problem solving and employee empowerment. When team members voice concerns or struggles, it’s important that leaders take the time to truly listen to them and ensure they feel heard. This then makes it much easier for leaders to steer these conversations toward resolution. Employees who feel listened to are far more susceptible to advice, which if delivered in the right way, can mean employees identify the solution for themselves.
   
   
3. Practice assertiveness – as this can prevent complacency from becoming acceptable within teams. For an organisation to succeed, all employees must take ownership and accountability for the part they play. If a leader notices a trend of low performance, having a direct and candid conversation can often be the best course of action. Not only is this an effective way of reminding people of their responsibilities, but it can help protect team dynamics by ensuring people remain aware of the impact their actions have on others.

As is often the case with professional development, being a compassionate leader requires prolonged practice with intentional purpose.

But with the right level of commitment, combined with the expertise and ongoing support of their coach, leaders can take regular steps towards meaningful growth – driven by an understanding of which behaviours they should embrace and foster within their teams, as well as those they want to avoid.

To find out other ways coaching techniques can support kindness in the workplace, catch up on our webinar.